I chose ecology not with the
motivation of delving deep into research. I knew I had one year in hand as part
of my Master’s thesis and I wanted to make the most of it – go to different
places as part of field work, meet new people, gain as much diverse experiences
as possible. I looked at it as an opportunity in character building than a
research project. Little did I know that I would be faced with my first
challenge within a fortnight of reporting to work.
Disclaimer: I do not hate
animals. I wouldn’t be in ecology if I did. It is just that I am a little
scared. Err…quite a lot, actually!
I have taken some poetic license
in describing the incidents here. You can consider this to be an exaggerated ‘fictional
autobiography’ or ‘autobiographical fiction’.
It was a Thursday when Senior
told me that we will be going to his city for project-related work. Always on
the lookout for experiences, I agreed. Before going to anybody’s house, I
usually ask them about their place, family and other details before finding out
if they have pets. I don’t know how I missed it this time, though. I was about
to enter the house when Senior asked me to wait. They have a dog – a 9-year old
German Shepard – as a pet and he had to see to it that it did not overreact to
a stranger – that’s me. I froze. It slowly dawned upon me that this was a point
of no return. Bravely, I marched ahead. Despite all precautions and me sitting
at the far end of the hall, Stella walked upto me and for a brief moment,
before she was pulled away by Aunty or Brother (I was in such shock that I
don’t even remember!), she rested her muzzle on my thigh. I wonder how I did
not soil my pants out of fear! Perhaps my mind was in stupor to even react. I
will never know.
In Hindu mythology, we have Asthu
Devatas – divine beings who keep saying “Asthu”, meaning “So be it”.
That is why, as children, we are told to always think about and say good
things. I am pretty sure of having told my friends in some conversation that I
wanted what-is-the-word-for-female-dogs? around me. I did not mean it in the
‘literal’ sense, though. I then realized that Asthu Devatas did not use
Urban Dictionary.
When I met Uncle for the first
time, he genially asked if I had made friends with Stella. I, hesitantly,
replied that I am not a huge fan of dogs. He laughed and asked me to think of her
to be human. I would, if only she walked on two legs. I did not say this aloud,
though. “You cannot work in the field if you are this scared”, he said. I
couldn’t tell him that in the wild, when confronted, all of us had the same
reaction – to run. Could I?
Since we had very few
appointments, we spent most of the time in the house. Stella was lazily lying
in the hall, as we sat and talked, worked or watched movies. I must say I spent
half my energy in just keeping an eye out for every little movement she made –
stretching, getting rid of insects or merely moving a limb while asleep. I do
not know if they had a pact but there were times when both Senior and Brother
conveniently disappeared for a few minutes. Those were moments when I sat
there, chanting names of all those gods I have been familiar with since
childhood, hoping Stella remained asleep. She opened her eyes sometimes and
looked at me. I think, she sensed that I was watching her. Senior’s advice flashed
in my head – “Do not look into dogs’ eyes. They take it as a challenge”. I then
shifted my gaze, pretended to look elsewhere, but watched her out of the corner
of my eye. I could not even be scared, for I had heard a million times that
‘dogs sense fear and prey on it’. That is perhaps the worst punishment – you
aren’t even allowed to feel fear. The moment either Senior or Brother entered,
I heaved a sigh of relief. Battle won!
Everytime I sat down to eat,
despite the food being very good, I was unable to relish it. Aunty asked if I
was okay. How could I say I wasn’t? How could I say that half my mind and one
of my eyes was constantly monitoring Stella, fervently praying that she didn’t
come too close for comfort? Had I so constantly and single-mindedly thought
of any god, I guess he or she would have been mighty impressed and appeared
before me! The Happy Man standing on the table looked at me. I asked if he was
laughing at my predicament. He merely continued to laugh.
The first night in their house
was perhaps the most difficult. Blame the movies for those scenes where dogs sleep with their owners. I spent the entire night, waking intermittently
just to make sure that Stella had not entered our room to sleep beside Senior.
I couldn’t blame her if she did. It was her ‘territory’, after all, and I was
the ‘intruder’, in ecological terms. Every night, I relived this ‘fantasy’ of
waking up with Stella. And everytime, I got up sweating, not so much because of
the heat as out of fear.
Four – five days into my stay
there, Stella and I seemed to have come to an unspoken pact. ‘I respect you.
Please stay away from me’ I said. ‘Alright. I don’t care who you are as long as
you don’t cause trouble’ she replied. There were no attempts are getting
friendly. No attempts at scaring me away. We had, perhaps, learnt to tolerate
each other’s presence. And we lived happily ever after. Err…cut out the last
three words, please.
P.S: For those of you who
started reading this piece believing that Simha has entered into a “new genre”
of writing, I am sorry. However, I hope this was worth your time!
